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February 25, 2008

The Mergees - Sort it out Emergent, We Want an Award Ceremony

200802251009So the Oscars have been wept along to, and we've had the BAFTAs and the BRITs and the Grammys... I think people are missing a trick here. Come on Emergent, give us an award ceremony! We demand a tacky hotel and venue, with numbered tables, free alcohol and cut away shots to Andrew Jones as he shuffles when the Lifetime Achievement category approaches!

Someone should design a gong... I reckon a brass cast of a tea light should do it.

And the award for Best Use of a Video Projector in a Badly Lit Space goes to...

Further categories and nominations welcome. The 'Mergees' start here...

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Lord, save us...!

Category: Achievement in Hair (While Making It Look Like You're Not Really Trying)

Categories:

- Most prolific Blogger

- Most gratuitous use of unnecessary punctuation marks on publicity. (eg: re:connect, un:churched, dis:praxia, etc.)

- Cleanest Apple Mac...

The list goes on.

Best facial hair
Deepest deconstruction
Church with fewest participants claiming to be a movement
Strongest brew (coffee and beer categories)

- The Flatest Leadership Category

(I think we're gonna need a bigger podium for that one).

jonny baker hosts
karen ward & mark peirson report from the red carpet
hosted at the fuller seminary auditorium

additional categories:

best original blog post
best blog posted adapated from another blog post
best sound editing of a mark driscoll rant
worst supporting community
least tolerable praise song

whitest atonement metaphor nomination: Scot McKnight for his golfclubs metaphor

unintentionally bad hairdo nomination: D Kimball

most likely to use "post" as a prefix for any historical event: Tony J

most improved theologian: Pete Rollins

fundamentalist/foundationalist emergent wannabe nomination: Mark Driscoll

best supporting role: Ingrid at http://sliceoflaodicea.com/

Chris Brain, anti-hero and patron saint of EC.

Lifetime Achievement Award
for outstanding contribution to car-crash-church

Can he be revised yet? Is he recoverable?

most likely to be labeled a "heretic"

least likely to author a controversial book

most linked to

best name recognition while still having zero facial recognition

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